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Professional furious person and MP for Rayleigh & Wickford, Mark Francois, is seething today after having been overlooked as the replacement for disgraced former Secretary of State for Defence, Gavin Williamson.

Speaking to reporters, incandescent with rage and with plumes of white smoke pouring from his ears the apoplectic puffed-up parliamentarian snapped: ‘Proof if it were really needed just how incompetent the PM is. She’s gone and picked a mere slip of a girl for the job, and yet here I am, a battle-hardened tactical genius with a wealth of military experience behind me.’

It’s well documented that Mr Francois was in the TA for a few weeks and by his own admission what he doesn’t know about sleeping in a tent, lighting a camp fire or capturing an imaginary enemy HQ based in a local scout hut isn’t worth knowing in the first place.

‘I just don’t get what Mrs may is on,’ he added. ‘First she completely screws up Brexit by ignoring the will of the people and now this travesty. I could do that job with one hand tied behind my back. Forgive her father, for she knows not what she has done!’

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Posted: May 3rd, 2019 by farmer giles

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